Excuses …

I know it’s been a long time since I wrote.  And yes, it’s because of procrastination pure and simple.  I keep a list of the entries I need to get to and as it grows, my reluctance to catch up on them grows right along with it.  I doubt this is surprising to anyone … but I thought it best to just get that said first.  I’m tempted to leap ahead, but I actually do look back on this as a means of having something like a journal.  I don’t think I will ever be an everyday poster, not like my friend Natalie for example, but I do want to have enough posts to be able to remind mysql and those around me that I am here.  I live.  I might pick my conversations and topics the way I pick my battles, but I think as well.

…Busy…

Lately has been really busy.  Not just the kind of busy where your schedule gets longer than the pad you keep it on, or even than you can manage with RTM but the kind of busy where you find yourself longing to be doing other things.  Almost any other thing.  And that’s the worst kind of busy.  Normally, when you’re focused on the right things, then getting a laundry list of them to do doesn’t so much drive you crazy.  But when you feel like all you’re doing is running from one sub-par pursuit to another — that’s when things grate on you.  And it’s been like that for me in the past few weeks.  I know it will improve, but still …

…Frustration…

I’m trying hard to turn the other cheek, but what happens when the one you’re turning from is doing real damage.  I mean, I know everyone and their brother just knows they’re in the right, and that truth always has more than one side.  But I mean really, in those cases where you have your evidence and the evidence of many others that there really is Wrong in your midst, how do you sit idly by and turn cheeks knowing all that will happen is more and more of your friends and colleagues will be struck.  It’s happening at work right now.  In fact, the main reason I decided to even post this is because I need to think through those thoughts and come back to a more centered me.  I need to remember the words of the Savior when he admonished his disciples to forgive not once, not twice, but infinitely.  He has forgiven us and we need to recognize that every single one of us is a loved son or daughter of our Heavenly Father.

I just wish I knew what to do…  the typing has helped some…

… A Positive Note ...

I have been helping A work on a model home that she is presenting for the Masonic Home of Virginia.  It’s going great.  I think a bit of her eye has worn off on me too, because I find myself able to anticipate what she is going to want in each room.  I will be the first to admit it still amazes me the way she can see the potential — the art — in the everyday and knows just how to bring it forward.  But I’m also glad that I have grown enough to be able to know when and where that mirror is going to hang and to know how to figure out where the center of the wall and the center of the focus point differ.  And for me as helping hands the most important:  how to measure it properly so I put only a single hole in the wall in my effort to slap beauty on the face of the drab.  It’s been fun

I’ve also somehow managed to plow through several audiobooks in the last couple of weeks.  This kind of push is usually indicative of the type of small-stuff busy-ness I mentioned above.  I know that I recharge through getting into a book and that I don’t usually have time (or willingness to endure the pain in my eyes) to indulge in reading at home all that often.*  While I don’t recommend this pace of reading, I do have some recommendations that I will get to blogging about.  For now, they will remain on my “todo list” for entries and I promise not to skip them.  Tonight I finished The Last Chinese Chef and got more than a third through The Notebook.  I suspect I will be on to Charleston before the weekend is out…

* For those who don’t know, most of my “hard” reading — actual books — is done on airplanes and usually only during taxi, takeoff, and landing.  Afterwards I switch to the Kindle app on the iPad.  During normal times, I listen to audiobooks.  They are almost exclusively what is playing in my car and sometimes for 15 minutes as I lay down to sleep as well.  Since my cornea transplants, I learned to leverage audio to replace my reading habit since my eyes cannot tolerate my contacts for very long periods of staring at a single distance, and I cannot read a normal book at all without them.